What I find more and more is you ask about some body before dealing with them nobody has anything bad to say about them. If you say what happened after you get a lot of “I could have told you that”. I also have found over a period of many years that most people don’t have the guts to stick up for themselves. When you do you are wrong for it. I think people refuse to acknowledge see the strength in you in because it causes the think about weakness in themselves.